Why I’m happy to share my “no’s”
Today I opened my inbox to find another “no.”
Rejections have become a steady rhythm in my writing journey as of late. I was all too excited to finally finish the book I have spent over a decade working on—only to be met with “no” after “no.”
Querying is a natural next step in an author’s journey once they have finished their manuscript. A query is a pitch letter you send to literary agents in order to find representation for getting your book published. Often times with some more indie publishers you can even query them directly—though it’s wise be choosy which publishers you query this way.
I recently got a “yes” from one such publisher. Their website did look indie to me, and they had authors publishing in the fantasy genre, so I queried them. I got a response almost immediately (which isn’t necessarily normal in this field). The catch? They didn’t want to back my book financially. They wanted me to pay out of pocket for publishing, while they handled the marketing and control. It wasn’t quite self-publishing, but it wasn’t the traditional route I’m aiming for either.
When I saw their “yes,” my heart leapt—it felt so good to think someone out there read the first few chapters of my book and loved it as much as I do. Unfortunately that probably wasn’t the case.
There is nothing necessarily wrong with what this publishing company was offering—it’s an option akin to assisted or hybrid publishing. But I know what I want: a publisher who believes in my book enough to back it financially. So I refused their offer.
Since then, I have heard back from several agents, all declining to represent me because The Last Heir of Xenia isn’t quite what they are looking for. And I’m okay with that.
Yes, every time I see a new email in my inbox from QueryTracker my heart races. My palms sweat and I get butterflies in my stomach. It feels exactly like waiting for college acceptance letters—only to open them and see “no.” It stings, because it’s personal. It’s my words, my world, my heart on the page.
But here’s the thing: you have to give yourself grace. Rejection is part of the process. Stephen King, one of my personal favorites, was rejected so many times he actually threw his manuscript in the trash. His wife found it, and convinced him to keep going—and is the reason we have Carrie. Agatha Christie faced five years of constant rejections before she was published. Louisa May Alcott was told to “stick to teaching” because her writing was “not promising.” She then went on to write Little Women. All of these stories are proof that a “no” is just an opinion, not the end.
My story pays homage to some of the classics like Aeschylus’ Agamemnon, the myth of Cassandra of Troy, and Apollo from Ovid’s Metamorphoses. It is a story about destiny versus free will, love over hate, and the search for purpose. These “no’s” don’t erase the world I’ve built, the characters I love as if they are real, or the readers I believe will connect with them. Every rejection just means I’m one step closer to the right “yes.”
Rejection is something we all face, in one form or another. If you feel comfortable, share a time you pushed through a “no.” Let’s remind each other we’re not alone—and that there’s always a way forward.
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